P.P.S. Layover at Pappas Burger

By at April 18, 2008 | 6:45 AM | Print

So, it’s Midnight, and I am still on a fucking airplane.

You might recall that I mentioned something about these thunderstorms extending from Oklahoma to Mexico. Well, in our attempt to make it to Dallas, we have found ourselves flying around the Houston countryside trying to avoid the big nasty. The pilot came on not too terribly long ago, and said that we would be arriving sometime within f—f-t minutes. I can tell you now, this gentleman did not say fifteen.

In fact, when I leaned over to ask another passenger if he said fifteen or fifty, his response was, “I was about to ask you the same thing.” I don’t think I can sum up this trip in a more succinct way.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really not all that upset. I’m just kind of exhilarated by the sheer hopelessness of it all. Here I am, on a Southwest Airlines flight, delayed the same amount of time that a regular drive from my origin to destination would have taken, and I’m actually quite content with the world. What the hell else can I do at this moment? I’m in a plane, thousands of feet from the ground. Who am I to start bitching.

I don’t remember if I mentioned earlier that I had made a mistake when I originally made this reservation. Yeah, I booked a flight at 7:00AM instead of PM. I am pretty sure that flight arrived on time. Well, I had to rebook, and ended up paying for the illustrious Business Select fare. It includes one free drink ticket.

The kind flight attendant told me that my glass of red wine (merlot?) was on her. I told her, my drink ticket has a date on it. She said, you can use it on your trip back..

SIDEBAR: I am writing this as this laptop is crammed into the space I am have available because the bitch in front of me cannot sleep without reclining her chair. I don’t know what it is about me and flying and the assholes who think they have the right to recline as far back as fucking possible. Note to all travelers, this is inconsiderate behavior. You can be perfectly comfortable in the space provided you. NOTE TO AIRLINES: stop building plans with reclining seats! Anyway, I am truly in fairly decent mood. There has been a Mother Nature Laser Light Show out the windows to my right over the past 45 minutes or so. Oh, and did I mention that this is the first flight that I can remember since 9/11/ever! that I have sat next to a passenger reading what appears to be an Islamic text? Damn right!I have to admit (shamelessly?) that I have been a bit trepidatious this entire flight. I really don’t know what this man is reading! And I kind of hate myself for the thoughts I am having. He, at this point, seems harmless, and I really hate that I have this stereotypical view of the situation. Nevertheless, it adds a surreal angle to what has already been a pretty crazy ride this evening. We appear to be making our final ascent into the Big D. I’ve ended this series of posts before with the assumption that I would find myself no longer in this ordeal. I sign off now with the safe assumption that this will be the end of my journey. A P.P.P.S will surface if that is not the case.

This is an Urban Houstonian signing off (really?) this evening. Have a great weekend!

Yes, it is now 1:48, roughly SIX hours after my original arrival time, and I am finally ready to go to bed. I will NOT be waking anytime soon, my cellphone has been turned off, and my happy ass is going to sleep blissfully into the morning hours.

Travel

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